A lot of people shy away from long distance relationships because they
feel it just won’t work out no matter how much effort they put in, but
contrary to that belief, long distance relationships can actually be
successful if the parties involved in it are aware of the pitfalls, and
can strike an understanding to avoid them.
In my younger years, I had a few long distance affairs, and the
reason they eventually crashed was because I wasn’t aware of the things I
had to do or avoid at the time. Of course, after a couple of tries, I
gave up on it too, but I also took out time to reflect on what could
have gone wrong for me in those relationships, and here’s what I found…
1. INSUFFICIENT OR LACK OF COMMUNICATION
Long distance relationships like any other relationship require
adequate communication to stay alive; when you don’t do this, it begins
to die. It’s like planting a garden without watering it, what do you
think will happen? Your partner needs to be constantly reassured that
they mean something to you, and the only way to do that is by
communicating with them as often as possible. Thank God, technology has
made it possible for us to have different avenues of communication;
social media and phone calls are all ways to stay in touch with one’s
partner.
2. INSUFFICIENT OR NO VISITATIONS AT ALL
They say, “out of sight, out of mind”, so no matter how strongly you
and your partner feel for each other, if you do not take out time to
visit yourselves and share some together time, there’s every tendency
for your relationship to crash. Calling and chatting are good, but
seeing each other and being together adds something extra to your love. A
lot of people do not get this, and that is why you see couples who see
each other less than twice a year, and claim to be in a relationship; no
sex, no kiss…nothing. That’s no relationship; I call it an
acquaintance.
3. LACK OF TRUST
This has to be the biggest reason why all relationships
fail…including long distance affairs. When you’re in a relationship with
a person you do not trust, no matter what they do, you’ll have doubts, and these doubts are what cause the relationship to crash. My first real
relationship was a long distance affair; we were deeply in love, but
because we were both apart and saw only during semester breaks, trust
issues began to creep in. She felt I wasn’t being true enough to her,
and that I was cheating, and eventually, everything ended. So your love
can be stronger than Romeo and Juliet’s, but if you do not build that
trust, it will never work out.
4. MENTAL IMMATURITY
Mental immaturity makes people gullible; it is the reason a lot of
people would rather follow their friends’ advice than their own hearts;
this contributes to the failure of long distance relationships.
Some
people do not yet understand the way relationships work, they don’t
realize how much sacrifices and efforts they’re required to put in to
have a successful relationship; when these sort of people get involved
with someone, they find it difficult to handle the relationship.
And those are the factors I consider responsible for the failure of
most long distance relationships; if you feel I missed anything, please,
feel free to mention it (them) in the comments’ area.
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